As I have been practicing with these lessons here is what I am becoming aware of
I listen to my thoughts and feelings and stories in my head and I get a sense of a character inside a movie I call my life - this is me being a person inside a world made of dense stuff called matter
As I breathe and let go of the breath and notice what is I recognize the story is in the mind and what remains is a sense of NOWness and I exist which is known by sensations, emotions, pictures, and objects in space which are shining and vibrating - I call this being present
As i become aware of the vibrations, appearances thoughts, perceptions and sensations I recognize that these are also known - there is an invisible being which is aware of these things - I notice that the sensations and thoughts and feelings themselves do not know themselves - it is I that knows them and I am made of them yet I am stable but they come and go in me - I call this awareness spacelike - limitless - timeless - borderless - open - empty awareness
As I recognize this awareness it continues without interruptions - it always is as I notice its is-ness and i become aware that this awareness that knows itself is an experience then the awareness becomes curious what is making this experience even possible - on whose behalf is it experiencing. FOr split seconds - which are timeless seconds - I become unaware of awareness and dive into a blankness which is the void -
A split second after mind questions if this is an image or is this an actual experience - the mind is confused because it only can label experiences - this nonexperience is indescribable to the mind.
My intuition says that if i keep practicing with this looking - or not looking - it depends and become deep and conscious
What I love about these investigations that they can be done all day at any moment and they introduce a new space to my thinking and being - unlike other spiritual investigations which take days of silence and concentration - this practice is done in bata-brain wave ordinary way of thinking - which is really interesting.
I'm curious also if one develops high concentration states of singlemindedness then do these practices in retreat environment after 20 days of silence, I would imagine it would be even more potent.
May be i'm going to experience this as I have a passion for developing high concentration and practiced vipassana for years.
Feedbacks and thoughts are welcome